Social Media Mayhem

Social networking is everywhere. Nearly everyone belongs to a social network on sites such as Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and LinkedIn etc.

An average user would spend from one to several hours per day, posting photos, instant messaging, tweeting, etc. While social networking has become a staple form of social interaction, it comes with a host of potential dangers.

Does social media augur well for society or has it made people insensitive and lethargic? Statistics prove that inconsiderate use of social media has been responsible for numerous crimes, marriage breakdowns, absent mindedness, road accidents, divorces, murders and other social problems stemming directly from indulgence on social platforms.

Researchers are of the view that social media affects one's mental health and impacts seriously on the way one thinks, speaks and writes. Many children and teenagers are less likely to leave their houses and interact socially in real life due to their absorption in the virtual life of social media. It has created a generation of 'addicts' to instant feedback.

The reality is that the social media platforms are new methods of interaction. They cannot be wished away!

However, when social media is used responsibly it can have beneficial and positive results. Importantly, there has to be a sense of responsibility in the usage of social media which can be harmful and can have an adverse effect on the user.

Moreover, for a Muslim, the greatest challenge is to avoid committing sins through this medium. Sadly, it has become so easy and tempting to backbite, slander, spread false information and injure the feelings of innocent people by the mere press of a button.

If social media is to be used as a tool for communication the following must be kept in mind:

Be conscious of Allah Ta'ala at all times. Using the bounty of Allah for His disobedience is sheer ingratitude.

Adults should set an example by responsible usage.

Parents need to do regular checks on their children. Allowing children uncensored use of technology is opening the road to various problems. 

Social etiquette must be adhered to. Texting and showing indifference to one's spouse, or to people in a gathering is disrespectful and a sign of bad manners. It is absolutely annoying when people are involved with texting during social gathering.

Do not become addicted to your phone or ipad. Do not enslave yourself to the 'ping ping' sound of a message or email. Control your phone and do not let it control you.

Do not communicate with ghayr mahrams, (persons with whom marriage is permissible). This is destructive to one's chastity, Iman and marriage.

• Never try to be a perfectionist in marriage issues
• Make a firm commitment to make marriage work; affirm this by word and deed; do not say or do things that may damage the marriage
• Be considerate of one’s partner; be sensitive to one’s partner; do not hurt feelings
• Appreciate each other; express it now and then; do not take next person for granted
• Always be objective, not emotional, be rational, balanced and just
• Avoid assumptions, suspicions, negative perception of one's partner; always give the benefit of the doubt; must verify facts
• Gradually work towards overcoming one’s weaknesses; give the next person a chance; be kind; not harsh
• Never be defensive; admit your mistakes; Allah alone is perfect. Avoid cynicism, pessimism, aggression & negativity
• Anger is dangerous; it is also Haraam; control it by reading, water, wuzu, etc.
• Do not walk away in anger for more than a few hours; try to make up as quickly as possible with loving gestures
• Listen to the next person attentively, calmly; patiently; do not comment right away; think it over; take time to respond
• Lots of communication is required; communication requires will, skill and tact
• Compromise is essential; marriage is not a one way street; it is a dual road
• Consultation in a friendly manner in all major issues is important
• Balance the rights of everyone; do not be imbalanced; help one another to fulfil rights
• Learn to relax & unwind; be humorous, not tense and anxious all the time
• Be polite in speech & courteous; not rude & abrupt; do not scream or shout
• Forgive and forget; everyone makes mistakes
• Do not bring up the past; look forward, not backward; bygones are bygones; just as we want Allah to forgive us, forgive others
• Mutual respect is important; never run down one’s partner
• Help each other in housework and chores;  a working mum has extra pressures
• Take interest in the next person’s matters; do not be selfish and self-centered
• Physical and verbal abuse is absolutely unacceptable
• Confidentiality is important; never discuss with too many people; consult a pious elder or learned Aalim if problems occur; but do not bottle up problems
• Time away from each other occasionally is healthy for the relationship
• Try and spend free time together, especially evenings & most weekends
• Money matters must be done with consultation; save, be thrifty; but also not to the extreme; (do not be extravagant)
• Have a medical check up for pressure, sugar, etc. which can cause anger and frustration
• No point in attributing all problems to Sihr (Jadu); avoid doubts; if necessary consult only an authentic Aamil (read Manzil for protection)
• Romance is needed occasionally to revive the marriage
• Come onto Deen fully; Salaah, Zikr, Tilawah; attend programs; start Taleem at home even for few minutes; avoid sins and change life
• When things go wrong, always ask: Where have we gone wrong? Rectify wrongs, give up sins, repent, all will come right soon, insha Allah
• Never underestimate the power of Dua; ask Allah for His help at all times, especially when things are not right
• Each one will go to one'sown grave & stand alone before Allah to answer for self, not for others. With this in mind, do one’s duty and leave the rest to Allah

Guideline - A Project of Darul Ihsan Social Department